BIG RED (Red doesn’t get any bigger)

that one’s blue

Scrotums pride, and at times, joy.

Clubman S (998 & 1098)
Years Produced: 1972-1975(1098) 1975-1976(998)
Numbers Produced: Ltd Edition 500

A red ’76 model Leyland Mini Clubman S.

She stands a mere 4ft. high with a wheel base of ridiculous proportions.  To measure it, I would need a fantastic team to go on voyage in a shrunken space ship (applicants are to forward their CV to

Obviously the mini’s claim to fame is not straight line speed.  Rather, it’s racing success and credability is a direct result of its go-kart like handling.With a low centre of gravity, a mean, nearly square stance, and rock hard abadaba suspension, you have a flurking decent recipe for some fun cornering.


As the mini only weighs approximately 600kg, there is some serious scope for straight line speed.As you have hardly any weight to lug around, you don’t need ridiculous amounts of power to get it moving.  It is a strong possibility that in the future she’ll get a swift Gti motor to try on. ($@?(_._)-pressed ham.



She is in perfectly standard trim at the moment.


Engine: 1000cc4 cylinder in line OHV

8.3:1 compression

40 bhp(rather piss weak)

70Nm torque(fwaaaarrrr)

As you can see, this sort of output will not suffice for long.  One plus is that a single full tank of petrol (25L) lasts approximately 14 years.


And… in the interests of saving time, I present to you some other vital statistics. (in hurried pog form)

She has the rubber cone type suspension, as apposed to hydrolastic suspension.  Rack and pinion steering, a 4 speed manual gearbox, 10 inch rostyle wheels (rubber cost me $56 a tyre –tits!), 4 seats… boring.


When I start to tinker with it I will be bothered posting interesting info.

So watch this space…watch it! And happy cornering.