The Big White Penis - Speed Hole Extraordinare
"The story of the big white penis begins
with a man.
The story of the man begins with a little
white penis.
The story of the little white penis comes
down to genetics."
About the original poove with candy-stitching......
Brads Motoring Achievements
Holden Torana LH - Bought $900, Sold for $4000
Damage: Countless ripples due to debadging and destriping. Brad is
not a panel beater or painter.
VK Commodore
Damage: Piece of shit engine rival only to...Dong Dong with a saddle
(JJJJnrJ's dog)
Panel/light damage due to high speed collision with an old man in a
gemini in a parking lot
VT S Commodore - le piece de resistance
Damage: all of it
Tree + 80km/h
The VS Commodore came about as a result of a love
for being in debt and a willingness to conform. No bright yellow 'Gdos'
or classic zippy 'Big Reds.' I wanted mass production and now - so off
to the commodore shop...
And there she was, gleaming
in her splendid white (actually there were a few gleaming in their splendid
white.) I liked the penis' white the best so she got the nod. Only problem
was one of those pesky gear changer thingies but I figured that no-one
could tell it was different from the outside.
SUS Motorsport member:
VEHICLE: 1995 VS Commodore (Executive)
ENGINE: V6 ECOTEC
DRIVETRAIN: 5 speed manual, 3.08:1 LSD diff
BODY MODS :
Debadged, stripes all colour coded
Speedhole in Group A race bar (now retired)
Speedhole in original bar
Speedhole in left-hand headlight
Speedhole in passenger front door
One very blue parker and matching halogen bulb (just one!)
ENGINE MODS: Removal
of two cylinders prior to purchase??
K&N Panel Filter in de-nozzled factory airbox
Home-made cold air induction
EXHAUST:
Pacemaker headers
2.5" High-flow cat
2.5" exhaust with some mufflery thing
SUSPENSION:
King Spring Superlows (dont tell the cops)
Monroe GT gas shockies (didnt dampen the dog much though..........)
Nolathane bushes for all
Front std sway bar
INTERIOR MODS: Chewing gum on seat for
that grippy race seat feel
Green interior light painted with fabric paint for that eerie presence
when reading a road map at night feel
WHEELS: Yup, 4 of 'em. Oh, um... cool silver pursuit wheels with hand-made 'racing slicks' for that ice-skating in wet feel
STEREO:
Sorry but its doof doof
2 x 12inch JL Audio subs powered by Kicker ZR360 Amp
6.5" shit Alpine splits powered by Kicker ZR120
Stocko rocko parcel shelf speakers
Shit ass alpine head deck that doesnt read - ALPINE BITES
SECURITY: Fuel cut off (can only afford $5 at a time)
BEST E.T: 15.6s @ 92 mile/hr (prior to original bar speedholes : expect 1/2 sec improvement)
FUTURE MODS: Reprogrammed
memcal - 10kw increase
Camshaft - apparently 15-20kw (Ill wait for the dyno)
3.45 : 1 diff gears
Did someone say supercharger???